Relationship how long say i love you

While all great love stories are nuanced and should be allowed to unfold organically, we sought guidance from the experts to help you determine if the right time to say "I love you" first is now, later… or never.

Because in our modern day, there are a multitude of things tugging at us constantly, asking to lure our attention—from open relationships to tantalizing strangers on social media and dating apps. But before you spout off in a moment of passion, she advises that you sit with the feeling and become aware of what your expectations are surrounding it.

The thrill of a new relationship starts with the rousing of initial intrigue, the attraction that renders you dizzy, and the fun of linking arms with someone who enjoys your favorite activities.

Berg suggests getting radically honest with yourself—dysfunctional patterns and all. Mann agrees, explaining that we often develop habits of seeking a relationship to fulfill needs that only we can satisfy. How long you should wait before saying "I love you" depends on what you believe that statement means. Some people take months or even years to confess their love because they believe "I love you" holds great meaning and want to wait until they're absolutely sure about how they feel, says clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, Ph.

Here's more on how long it takes to fall in love in general. It's likely too soon to say "I love you" if you don't actually know the person that well, which is a sign you might be confusing love and infatuation. Infatuation is a strong feeling of attraction and fixation toward someone, whereas love involves feeling intimately bonded and close to someone.

Feelings of "love" felt in the early days or weeks of a relationship are often actually feelings of infatuation, Manly explains. That said, feelings of love can happen within just a few weeks of knowing someone, according to both Manly and licensed couples' therapist Lexx Brown-James, Ph.

It's more about the nature of the time spent together than the amount of time spent together, Brown-James asserts. If that happens within a month of knowing someone, it's OK to lean into that.

In general, if two people love each other, it doesn't matter who says "I love you" first. If you're not sure whether your partner feels the same way you do, you can still tell them how you feel—just be mindful of why you're doing it. If you just want to let them know where your heart is at and don't mind whether or not your feelings are reciprocated, go for it. Honoring your feelings of vulnerability is risky and can be scary. It is, however, a way to build intimacy.

That said, Manly points out that those three little words can carry a lot of weight for some people, so it's worth considering how your confession might affect them and your relationship.

If it's important for you to have the other person love you back, Manly recommends paying attention to body language cues as well as the other types of language they use to describe how they feel about you. If they are, it may be the right time to voice how you feel.

Your relationship isn't over just because your partner doesn't say "I love you" back to you the first time you say it, says Brown-James. It also doesn't mean the relationship has to end right then and there," she says. Some people share their feelings as soon as they notice the first urge to say them. At the end of the day, maybe you just know your life is better with them around, and you want to keep it that way.

Maybe they do have the same feelings, but they want something a little or a lot different from a relationship. Once you feel ready to express your feelings and work toward something more lasting, a good first step might involve starting a conversation about your relationship. You can talk about your goals, boundaries , and long-term compatibility.

These conversations will take some time, so expect some ongoing dialogue. All that discussion has a benefit, though — it usually helps strengthen your bond. Romantic feelings naturally develop at different rates. Loving someone means accepting some risk of rejection and heartbreak, which leaves you in a vulnerable position.

You could simply need a little more time to come to terms with that new vulnerability. Experiences in previous relationships can also make it more difficult to acknowledge and trust your own feelings. They can even inspire some doubts about your ability to fall in love. These experiences can make it harder not just to recognize your feelings, but also to feel comfortable expressing them.

They might include:. Wondering about your own attachment style and how it might affect your relationships? Check out our guide.

Instead of replying in kind before you truly mean it, consider trying out one of these starter phrases:. Open communication serves as an important foundation of any relationship, in large part because it factors into so many aspects of lasting intimacy :. He came home that afternoon to find me sitting on the edge of our bed, with tears in my eyes. It may have only lasted thirty seconds but it felt like an eternity, waiting for him to confirm the very feeling I had been feeling for months.

In my heart of hearts, I knew better. I knew that the right person for me would have zero qualms about professing his love and would inherently understand that this was something I needed to hear in order to feel secure.

I found myself becoming more and more sensitive to those three little words and suddenly every film I saw, T. Although it was a mutual decision in the end—and a difficult breakup given our lives were intertwined—it made me even more determined to not settle for anything less than what I knew I deserved.

The other day I was scrolling through Instagram and saw a post from US Weekly that reported on a couple from the reality T.